5 Most Annoying Types of People

We all have certain types of people that make our blood boil at the mere thought of them. For some it may be tree-huggers, others smokers or obnoxious children on airplanes. The possibilities are endless. I am going to list the five that annoy me the most, the five that ruffle my feathers like a rooster in heat.

• Oblivious people. I experienced this type of person personally this past weekend. I went swimming at the gym, when I finished I returned to the locker room to change, only to find a short man with a large gut changing immediately next to my locker. No big deal, I went into to the bathroom area for a few minutes to let him finish. Well, I came back and the guy was still there having only removed his shirt since I last saw him. This guy wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, so I decided to dive in and change as quickly as possibly. Normally when you do this the person will put forth the effort to create some space for you, like any considerate, aware person would. Not this guy. He actually started picking his butt, trying to pick out a plum probably, and somehow inched his way closer to me. I let out a few groans to signal the guy, but he was off on his butt-picking planet oblivious to the world. I got dressed as fast as I could and got away from that astronaut before I succumbed to the urge to stuff his rolly-polly ass in his locker. Another prime example of an oblivious person is the fat load who stands in the middle of the grocery isle with their three unkempt fat children trying to decide what kind of fake cheese product gets to clog their family's arteries that week, the extra cheesy cheese wiz, the ultra puffy Cheetos or maybe it's a special week and they'll get the five pound cheese wheel that looks like a spoiled fruit cake.
• Slow drivers. Ever been waiting to make a left turn at a light that only turns green every 7 or 8 minutes and stays green for about 30 seconds? I'm sure you have. Now picture that old geezer that we have all been stuck behind who takes at least half the light to even realize that it has in fact turned green. They then spend the rest of light accelerating from 0 to 2.5 mph in an astounding 12 seconds, finally finishing the turn just as the light turns yellow. This leaves you only a few feet closer to your goal and with a strong desire to give them the double tall man. But don't worry, by the time you finally get thru the light they will only be a few blocks down the road and you can flip them off all you want as you speed past.
• The person who won't shut up. This is the guy in the gym locker room or on the bus who starts talking to you about an absurdly mundane subject despite the fact that you are listening to your ipod and staring in the other direction. "I had this ex-wife and boy she don't like me much. She had this old Cadillac and one time the engine fell out of that sumbitch and that witch called me up and said....". At this point you're debating whether to just walk away in mid-sentence or to tell the guy to shut the eff up, when thankfully a new target enters the cross-hairs of this obnoxious blowhards diarrhea filled mouth.
• The person who thinks they are god's gift to the opposite sex. Guys, you know exactly who I'm talking about. The girl at the bar who is 30 pounds over weight wearing a dress three sizes to small that does an exquisite job of accentuating her atrocious fake tan and extra greasy face, who has the nerve to look at you with disdain as if you are beneath her. Not that you put forth signals or insinuated that you were even remotely interested, she still feels the need convey her superiority over you. Mind you, the only the thing that would make you approach her would be if you needed a little extra axle grease for you car.
• Gullible, ignorant people. This is the brain surgeon that calls up the local talk radio show and says "I heard President Obama weren't born in America and is a Communist Muslim." And where did they get this juicy information? A forwarded email from their good buddy Clevis. You might say that the person may not be aware that the President's birth certificates states that he was in born in the US, or that he is a member of a Christian church, or that Communists don't even believe in religion. Fine, I can forgive that, I suppose, though you would have to be living under a rock to not be aware of at least one of the three. What I cannot forgive is that the person is basing their views on the President of the United States on a forwarded email that originated from an address along the lines of BustySuzyXXX@flirtyskanks.com and instructs the recipient to forward the email to 20 people in the next 20 minutes or else they won't get laid for the next year.

I feel like an athlete after a game winning performance or a politician after an election clinching oratory masterpiece; completely drained. I left it all out on the floor, and only hope that, you the reader, were able to relate and join in my annoyance of at least one of these immensely annoying personages. I'm sure there is a person that gets under your skin like none other and deserves to be on this list. By all means let me know who gets your goat and we can wallow in our disdain for all people annoying together.

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