Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Situation Room With the Situation

I, like the majority of America, was caught up in the whirlwind phenomena that is the Jersey Shore. If you were to tell me that you didn't know who Snooki or the Situation (the greatest reality star ever) are, I would call you a lilly-livered-lier. One of my new favorite pass times is brainstorming ways that the Situation can be integrated into our society as much as possible. And then it hit me, CNN should give Wolf Blitzer the boot and turn the Situation Room tv show over to the Situation.

Can't you just imagine: Downy vs. Tide, Secret Tanning Oil Distasters and Ugly Girl Math tonight on "The Situation Room with the Situation". If that isn't a million dollar idea, then Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are collecting unemployment. I did a little research and it turns out I wasn't the only one with this idea, even including a parody video on youtube with 218,000 views. 218,000 people think this is a great idea, so it can't be wrong.

You're probably thinking, this sounds like an interesting idea, but CNN, the global news leader, would never do it. Au contraire, mon fritter. The glory days of CNN are gone, they're last in the ratings, and their 900 year old number one guy is so far gone he doesn't even know the difference between Ringo Starr and George Harrison. As you can see, CNN is ripe for a massive reality check, and who better to administrator that than the greatest reality star of all time, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. This move would bring CNN into the 21st century, with a star whose show garners more viewers than anything CNN currently puts on the error. Not too mention the increased ad revenue the network would get from Cadillac, laundry detergent, condoms, and Ron Ron Juice. Taking all these points in to account, it is clear that CNN, a network in desperate disrepair and disarray, should make this drastic, yet revolutionary move of putting "The Situation Room with The Situation" on the air immediately and taking the top spot back from the fear-mongering hacks like Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Glenn Beck. We will all be better for it. Viva la Situation!!!

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