What Happened to Luke Wilson?

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last 6 months, you've probably been barraged with those atrocious AT&T commercials. You're first thought after suffering through one of those is probably "Wow, that really sucked!". This is followed by the notion that that bloated carcass playing the AT&T pitchman looks very familiar. This starts the brain synapses firing, and then it hits you: "Holy crap, that's Luke Wilson of Old School fame!". This realization is quickly followed by the question: "What the hell happened to Luke Wilson?".

Well, I tell you what happened to him. He caught a disease, and he is a sick, sick man. And that ailment my friends is called Val Kilmer Disease (VKD). Symptoms include but are not limited to:

• Having at one point been very good looking
• Currently looking very bloated and unhealthy
• Once being in huge movies i.e. Top Gun, Old School
• Not having been in a movie anyone has heard of in five plus years
• Most significantly patient's current appearance prompts people to ask "What the hell happened to him?"

Now here is some photographic evidence to support this new disease:
Obviously this picture speaks for itself; simply jarring. Allow me to point out a few VKD symptoms: very attractive as Iceman in Top Gun, now has man boobs, a giant belly and a face that appears to have doubled in size. Another symptom, the last movie that the general public probably remembers him in is Alexander (2004), which was only noteworthy because it was such a huge flop and disappointment. You're probably thinking, wow I never gave Val Kilmer that much thought, but that does sound like a serious malady, but Luke Wilson can't have contracted VKD. You better believe he has, just take a look at the image to your left. Notice the piercing brown eyes and chiseled features on the before VKD image compared with the eyes that are almost swollen shut, the jowls and the turkey gobbler on the post VKD image. Not pictured, last notable role a supporting part in
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004). Needless to say if Luke Wilson had not somehow got the job with AT&T as their annoying, smug pitchman (my theory is significant bribes to the AT&T corporate structure from brother Owen), his career would be continuing it's downward spiral into the land of Z celebrities and bad VH1 reality shows. But alas, it appears that he has possibly found a cure or at least a treatment to stop the alphabetic fall caused by Val Kilmer Disease from A to Z at a semi-respectable C and made himself, for now, somewhat relevant in the pop culture landscape.

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